Anthony misses "my sister"

Here's something heartbreaking. Anthony is showing just how well he understands that something is VERY different and wrong in our home. He's taken to staring at her photos and saying "My sister" when he sees them. He'll even give her a kiss. The past 3 nights, he's insisted on going to bed with her photo under his arm. Tell me that doesn't pull at your heart strings and make you want to cry. He's been so amazing through all this.

This kid has shown just how strong he is. He's gone from dealing with a pregnant momma to having to basically live in a hospital to living at home for the week days with just his papa (going to daycare during the day, nights alone with papa) and living at the Ronald McDonald house on the weekends, spending the whole day cramped up in a tiny room the size of our living room and dining room with 2 tables and lots of other people coming and going. And when we were in final stages of Bailey's short life, he was living almost 18 hours a day in the hospital (luckily there were other kids to play with from time to time and a few play areas on the lower levels. When we came back home, he had the hardest time sleeping back in his crib and sleeping through the night. Everyone he was used to was back, but he knew there was a huge change. The first week back home, we were always on the go. Making plans for a wake and funeral, buying this and that, getting things together and making sure that we had everything in order for her burial, and all the aftermath from all that. That's a lot for a kid. Luckily he's started sleeping through the night almost every night and getting through the day without seeing his momma lose her wits. I admit I still get super short with her, but I have to struggle and tell myself that its not his fault that Bailey is gone. She's watching out for him now. He's not at fault for my pain, he's the reason that I can function as well as I can.

He's showing so much strength, its crazy to see that he's so amazing. He's learning so many words, putting them together in logical sequence, and communicating pretty well what he wants and everything. We've even given potty training a try and with the use of the new Huggies Slip Ons (I laughed when they made these, but they are GREAT for potty training! Like Pull Ups but much cheaper!), we've made a lot of progress. He notices when he has to go and he doesn't like it when his diaper is wet at all. He loves going potty in the chair because he knows he's going to get praised and his diaper will stay dry. We are thinking about switching to underwear before a real long time. We have tons of size 3 diapers, but we might just put them off to the side for now. He's been doing so great with it. He still tends to forget when he's got other things going on, but for the most part, diapers last a LOT longer now. Its great to be able to say that I can make a box of diapers last a month!

He's grown out of all his 12 month stuff (He's sprouted up a little bit!) and doesn't fit into almost all his 18 month onesies. He's in almost all 24m/2T stuff, but its still too big around. For now, we love the adjustable waist on things, but if they don't have that kind of waist band, I use a clip that is meant for keeping your sheets on your bed and clip that on the belt loops. It works, looks like a belt, and we don't have to worry about them slipping down. They are too long, but that just means that he'll get to wear them for a while. Last time we weighed him (about a month ago?) he was 25 lbs pretty much on the dot. Going to have to do it again soon because he's starting to get a little bit of a belly. It pretty much appears when he is done eating and goes away through the day between meals. He's still super scrawny though. No idea where he gets it from.

Nothing too big to report right now. He has his birthday party on Nov 20th, so I'll have to remind myself to post after that. I can't wait to see him swimming and see how he reacts to it all now!

Thanks for hanging in there, dealing with our crazy lives, and the love and support. Its been a tough time since Bailey, but we are getting along ok.

Bailey would have been 3 months old on the 13th. We remembered by me going out to her headstone and putting back her flowers. I had to take them out because the vase on her headstone had moved. We aren't sure why, but to make sure that it wouldn't move again because of the flowers, we took them out and waited to put them back until there was some time between when they remounted it and we put them back in, making sure the stuff had a better chance to set up. I was there when the guy was pretty much done assembling and installing her headstone, but I hung back. It was just me in the car (Anthony passed out in the back seat) and just seeing that headstone made me lose it. It somehow made it all the more real that she's gone and instead of holding her, I have this cold granite stone heart with a bear to hold and talk to. They did an amazing job. I love the foot prints and the image on the bottom of the heart. Helps make it all the more real that she was here, she was alive, she was even here long enough that she got a social security card before her diagnosis was in. We even went back out on the 15th (Remembrance Day) with a princess balloon and put her name and the date for the miscarriage on there and released it. I didn't get a chance to get a good photo because the wind was crazy strong and ended up blowing the balloon across the cemetery and into the neighbor's trees. By the time we drove around to their property line, the balloon was gone. I'd like to believe that it made it out and made it up to her. I know it probably didn't, but let me believe what I want.

I look at her photos all the time and wonder where she would fit into our family right now. When Adam and Anthony are chasing each other in the house, what would us girls be doing? Would she be like her brother and attatch herself to me or would she be closer to her papa? What milestones would she have reached by now? Would she still have that amazing copper red hair? What kind of personality would she be showing us? If she hadn't died in the NICU, would she be home now? What would she have been like if she hadn't needed the NICU at all? How would life be different? But most of all, would I be as thankful for what I have if she would have lived? That last one, I'm not too sure. But I know I would give anything to have her back and my family whole again. Breaks my heart that she's gone. Its a sad and isolating thing, infant loss is. People get uncomfortable talking to you about their kids, the child you lost, the circumstances, etc. They even stop talking to me altogether, which just hurts. I don't know if they understand just how badly I want people to talk about her. I might cry or I might freeze when talking about her, but let me know that you haven't forgotten. I know I haven't. I know I never will. Don't avoid me. That just makes me wonder if you were ever a friend at all.

I'm not going to clutter up the kids' blog with any of the rest of this. I have another blog (or two) for that.

I'm going to end by saying, I love you, kids. You are an amazing addition to my life, all three of you. I never got to meet or hold my "oldest", but I've been much more aware of that loss when we lost you. Anthony, you have kept Momma and Papa going through some of the hardest days. Keep it up lil man, we love you for the smiles you make us smile! Bailey, You will always be my lil lady. I'll never forget the whole pregnancy, the birth that showed me that I CAN give birth naturally, even when the contractions are out of control and that last one is 30+ minutes long. You also showed me the strength I can draw upon when it comes to my family. I now appreciate everything SO much more. I miss my angels who are gone and love them JUST AS MUCH as the one I get to hold daily. Thank you for blessing me. God, you've done a great job in giving me amazing kids. I pray that you bless me with more amazing miracles to help shape my life into what you want me to be. I try not to ask "Why?" because that's something only you know, but I'll try to remember to say my Thanks, even though I don't know why things are going the way they are.

Precious time lost

For anyone who hasn't been clued in, we did have the baby. Please check out the following site, as I really don't want to have to repeat all of it over again. I'll update about Anthony and everything else later on, right now its just so hard to get through each day.

www.caringbridge.com/visit/baileygosiak

Please sign the guest book if you haven't already. You can't comment on each journal entry, but if you want, you can comment on here. I'll answer any questions anyone may have. For more info on Bailey's lung condition (ACD) please go to the following link. Its pretty good with the info. And please look into buying a reminder car ribbon. Proceeds go to help with research to hopefully find a cause and ultimately a cure for this horrible congenital disease.

www.acd-association.com

We will be planning some sort of fundraising in Bailey's honor for her birthday. Keep checking back for details on that. Might be a little while, but we do want to do this and every little bit helps.

In the mean time, please keep the prayers for peace coming. Its a long, hard road to go down after losing your child. Trust me, this is a million times worse than our miscarriage was. Both suck big time, but this was more than just slightly life altering.

Week 37...what a week!

Omg I couldnt have planned this past week (friday july 1 to today, thursday july 7) to have so much going on. So, friday we had an appointment in st cloud and no sitter. This was supposed to be the first appointment with a st cloud ob and finish the transfer from Little Falls. I had called days in a row and begged my files to be transferred, get an appointment with the desired dr, and making sure its on the right day and at a good time. Well, my files got transferred on monday june 27 when my ob faxed them down again. The appointment was made for friday and I was given a call telling me when my appointment was and all those details. Great news, right? Nope! Found a last minute sitter (Thank you Holly!!!) that Anthony adores and we also got a glowing recommendation from Holly about this dr. Even better, right? Nope! Why? Well, we show up early (quite a feat for us!) and try to check in. Only to find out that the appointment wasn't with dr Stocker like we had pushed for. It was with dr Thompson. Now, I try not to judge for any reasn, but we had never met this dr. We had met dr Stocker while at our last perinatal appointment. Little did we know that Stocker was probably wanting to see us a week previous because he knew he had his vacation coming. We did what we did, cancelld the dr appointment and just did al the required stuff that day.

Thing is, when the message was recorded, the chick said the dr's name so quietly that i didnt hear her say the wrong dr's name. Great huh? 37 weeks to the day and I dont get the dr i asked and begged for. That had me MAD!!! I couldnt believe it. So, we made another appointment with another dr that came with some high remarks, and we did the reqired stuff (talking about health and family history, etc.) and went on our way.

Fourth of July had its moments. I'll keep them to myself. Let's just say it had great moments and moments of disaster.

Well, fast forward a few days. I've been having contractions and some were enough to scare me into thinking its time to go. Luckily it wasnt...until 12:30 am thursday morning. Yea, thats today. I had contractions beating me up, consistent, and close. around 3:30 am, we headed out the door with our freshly packed bags and very awake toddler.We dropped Anthony off at the mil's and kept going to the hospital. I was so sure that since Erika had had her baby, I was safe to pop out our lil bundle. Well, the contractions weren't consistent or close enough for them. They had us walk the floor for an hour and at 7am head back to our room to get checked. On the 27th, I was about 1.5 and 50%. Not much but thats ok. The nurse checks me and says 3 and about 50%. Not enough fo them to keep us. Now, this was at shift change. The day nurse sucked royally. She had no personality or sense of humor. she told me i was a 2 just barely. She just made me feel like I had never done this before and didnt have a clue about labor. She and the dr kept telling me my labor was stalling out and i needed to get up and walk if I wanted to keep it going. Well I have had sciatic pains this whole pregnancy and after walking the halls for an hour, i had my sciatic nerve firing off along with a sore ankle from trying to walk fast but quietly down the halls so as to not wake anyone, especially those who had babies in their rooms.

Yea, I got sent home. Told that my contractions werent doing anything because she werent consistent and growing in power. We asked if they would do pitocin to get things going because I've been having contractions this whole week and we needed a lil help. Nope, not unless you are 39 weeks, they cant do anything because this reason or that. Nevemind we live an hour away, this timing was horrible and being sent home with no baby was likely going to increase the chance that we end up back there in the next few days trying again. He even explained what false labor is to me, rather than asking me if I needed someone to tell me what had happened. I felt like a lil kid being scolded. Yes, I know its his duty to explain everything and i doubt he wanted to be talking to me like that to make me feel stupid, but he did nonetheless. He even told us (knowing we live an hour away) to keep the appointment at 3pm. it was nearly 9 when we got send away. I'm not going to hang out in st cloud for 6 hours, but it doesnt pay to go the whole way home, just to have to come back for the appointment. Wht would he do in 6 hours that he couldnt do right then in the room at the hospital?? He also said he could give me morphine or another drug used for asthma patients to stop the contractions and help me sleep. EXCUSE ME?!? You are willing to say no to pitocin for all the reasons in the book despite protests, but are willing to dope me up with narcotic drugs when you KNOW our baby has a heart condition and who knows what the baby would do or how it would handle the drugs? I think we are on different planets. Obviously i said no each time he offered (several times while we were at the hospital and during our appointment) but that didnt stop him from bringing it up again.

We went to adam's parents and decided to eat and take a nap. We had tried what we had tried, may as well just see what happens. Yea, they stopped and we still went back for the appointment. Nevermind that i felt really roughed up from being checked constantly. I ended up getting a lecture about how dehydrated i was becuase of urine color, I was this, I was that, and that me being so dehydrated is why we had a false alarm. Thanks captain obvious. I just had to get the rest of the contractions to stop so i could go about the rest of my day. He was a lil helpful in one way though. he penciled us in for an induction on the 15th, when we'll be 39 weeks. He wont be there (HUGE sigh of relief!!), but the dr we tried to see last week will be back and probably be willing to do this for us. I thought finally and accepted that plan of action. We find out monday what dr Stocker wants to do. if not the 15th, we'll be put on schedule for that following monday. Finally an end date! I can tell my family when baby will be here by so they can make plans. I think that really helps us all.

So theres the plan. Theres the stupid details from the week that made me want to give it a shot and deliver in Little Falls anyway, but I know its not smart fir the baby's health. I just pray we dont have to do any of this again with them.

I plan on blogging for anthony soon. This kid just wont stop growing!!

Until then, i need much more sleep. Pray for us and that God keep His hand on us!

Anthony's turn!

So, I posted about the baby earlier, time for Anthony's post.

Lordy how this kid has grown. He is just insane. He now runs round the house making noise all the time, making me laugh hysterically at his goofy antics. He'll run around screaming, saying new words, playing with his toys, you name it. He loves how he and Adam play. They play hard too. Adam chases Anthony into our room, then Anthony turns the tables and chases Adam. They play peek a boo extreme, bounce on the bed, tickle/rib/toe nibbling, then, just when Adam asks for a break, Anthony breaks out the "aga! (again)". I think Adam has lost some weight and his arms are getting big again from throwing Anthony in the air and the major playing they do. I love watching them play and just wish I could join in. breaks my heart that I can't. But I know I'll be able to as soon as the baby is here.

Anthony has grown by leaps and bounds. He's about 23lbs, 31.5 inches tall, and has a melon that just grew again. His weight percentile has gone up a few points, his height is still in the same range, and his head has jumped back up again, near the 90%. I swear its from all the words he's learned. He has added many, even just in the past week! Kitty (he said this clear as day), mow (meow), high chai (high chair), whosthere, whosit (whos there, who is it), see (sippy), jae (jake, mil's dog), ousigh (outside), buh buh (bye bye, complete with wave), mini (minion, from the movie despicable me and a blowup toy of his), soos (shoes, as he puts them on to go ousigh). I'm sure I'm missing a bunch, but those are the newest ones. Well, he just reminded me of more. Okah (okay), uh uh oh (uh oh), nuh nuh (we think its no no by how he uses it), bah (bath).

We have started thinking about a haircut. Its starting to hang over his ears and one section even trails down his back. Its just so cute to see. I'll be sad, but its not like we hve hd to cut it often. His cousin Gage has already had 3 haircuts. Its so crazy how kids can be so different!

Anthony also had a blast at his godparents last weekend whe we went down for their baby shower. He warmed up to Morgan again very quickly, while it took a little more time to go to Anna. But by te end of the weekend, he showed them just how much babyproofing they have to do and what they are in store for. I think that they are a little more ready after 24 hours with us. Anthony even had fun at my uncle's with their dog. I dont know what Anthony will think when he larns just how crazy my uncle can be. But he also entertained my cousins and some of their friends. One friend even tried to pick up Anthony and spin around with him. I laughed pretty hard when she hurried to put him down before she fell. Good way to let them know kids arent all fun!

He finally got one of his molars last week! On top of the double ear infection he got around the beginning of the month, its been a little crazy around here. Ear infection has been treated and we are just waiting for next month for his follow up. His molar though is his top right. its still cutting through, but for the most part, its there and shouldnt be causing him any more pain. I am suspecting that the one on the other side is starting to move.

All in all, he's growing up really fast. I can't believe that he is 19 months old, walking, talking, running, and stealing hearts. Soon enough, he'll be the older brother helping me with the baby and I'll be working on potty training. *sigh* where does the time go?

My three ring circus week

Ok, so this week was beyond circus in my book. Monday started extra early (5:30) with Anthony being woke up by the idiot upstairs stomping around like a pissed off toddler and his tv was beyond cranked high. I could hear not only the voices, but I could almos understand the words. Not even a narcoleptic could have slept through that racket. So i bring Anthony out to the couch in hopes that we get to crash out. Nope. I started feeling cramps and a few contractions. Yay, preterm labor with a baby with a heart defect. Great. So I started gulping the water like my life was in jeopardy. Didn't do much. I tried to stay calm and not focus on what was going on. No such luck. Well, after calling the hopital in Little Falls, my regular ob, the clinic in st cloud, and a few other calls, Adam and I decided better get to the hospital. My ob had said to go to the hospital in st cloud just in case I deliver. yay. So much to do and prep. So Adam leaves work running out the door and I'm sure more than a few concerned looks. He gets home in time for me to get Anthony to sleep for his nap. Adam took Anthony and I got to hop in the shower.

Get out of the shower, I notice the contractions (which were very irregular in strength, duration, and frequency) had slowed even more. Adam and I talked and decided not to go to the hospital, but get an appointment with the ob for that day. Got squeezed in and found out its a good thing the contractions stopped. I had started dialating and thinning out. 1.5 cm and 50%. Adam told me that I was now a sahm again. He'd work my last shift and all since it had been getting harder and harder to work without having others do most of the job for me.

Fast forward to Wednesday. Big dr appointment in st cloud. Ugh those have turned into such a pain, but whatever it takes for the baby. We woke up late (of all days for Anthony to sleep in! lol) and had to play catch up. Dropped Anthony off and flew down to the clinic. Just get inside the health plaza's big parking lot cluster and out of NO WHERE comes this mint green blur, flying past my side of the car in the opposite direction. Mind you, its only 1 laneeach direction, this suv came out of the bushes!! JUST missed hitting us. I had no idea what was going on because I had my nose in the baby name book. I didnt see much. By the time I had a chance to say "WTF??? Adam had the car turned around and was going back to make sure the driver was ok. Pull up to where you come into the paring area and see an suv turned 180degrees from thbe directon it had been going. Dirt, twigs, and grass all over, glass filled the intersection, and there were some various car parts scattered on either side of the road.

Adam ent to make sure she was ok while I called the police. I had to stay back because I could feel my blood pressure rising. Come to find out, the lady was trying to park and her car wouldn't stop. We suspect that she confused the gas and the brake. She ended up flying out of one of the parking lots (there are mini parking lots around the building), through a bush filled median, through another parking lot, into another grassy/bush filled area (surrounding a deep ditch that is filled wth water, but she didnt go through that part, thankfully), past us with feet to spare, saw she was heading toward a busy road and cranked her wheel, which caused her to slide into a light pole, bounce off that and spin around to where the car finally stopped. When she had hit the pole, it ripped the metal panel of her back door off from the hinge side, blew out the windows on the passenger side, smashed the rear passenger wheel in the wrong directon 45degrees, ripped off the piece of plastc that goes along the running board, ripped off the hub cap, bolt cover, and a few other pieces. By the grace of God, she wasnt hurt except she might have smashed her ear into the door when she hit the pole. Made us late for the appointment, but it was worth it to know she was the only person involved in the whole thing and she was ok.

Get into the appointment and no shocker here, my blood pressure was 20 points over where it always is. Get into the ultrasound room and start measuring. Baby's head is measuring about 3 weeks ahead and the rest of the body is about 2 weks ahead. The computer estimates this baby to weigh about 6lb 9 oz, give or take 3/4 lb. BIG BABY! Thats quite big for having 5 weeks to go. Crazines continues a bit when baby makes it hard to get a very good picture of the heart. Dr comes in and does his own try and sees that one side of the heart has started compensating for the low oxygen level and has started to get bigger on one side. Yes, something else to be concerned with now, but we are far from done with seeing drs. Its not something to freak out about now, but it could cause us to have to move up surgery. Its looking like I wont be allowed to go over at all, if anything, we might be looking at delivering before 40 weeks. Dont know but we'll find out I'm sure soon enough. Other than that, nothing has changed except baby growing big. We have one more appointment with our regular ob before we move onto a st cloud ob. Come to also find out, its good that we are going to deliver in st cloud, our ob will be on vacation! If she were in the delivery room, she would tell everyone to chill because of the baby's issues, but since she isnt, she feels better knowing we are going to st cloud.

We have at least 1 more appointment with the clinic dr we've been seeing with a possible appointment with the cardiologist, dr chip. No appointment set yet, but thats coming soon enough.

So here I sit, unemployed, very pregnant, and blogging from my phone. What a trip this i becoming!! Well, I'm going to get the little man down for his nap then we get to head into the store to get some milk and stuff. I'll post something for Anthony later on. I'm just too pooped and frustrated with my phone. Please excuse the errors, I'll try to fix them later.

Dr Chip

What a great dr we have! Technically, he had the day off so he could talk to some high school kids. Well, i think that someone passed the word along that we were really upset about not geting to talk to him last month. He took the time yesterday after his talk to come to the clinic where we were and talk to both of us face to face. Yea, he had called the wednesday after our appontments last month, but I wanted Adam to get to talk to him and hear what he had to say. Well, we think we have a bit of good news to report. Starting off, there are no changes in the downs possibilities and there are still holes in the baby's heart. The change Dr Chip thinks he sees is that the hole between the ventricles (the lower chambers) may be growing shut. This is great news!! If it does grow shut, we could be able to push off surgery until about 9 months old. But if it doesnt, we are looking at surgery around 3 months old. There are also no bowel obstructions to report to date. Still something to watch and all, but so far, so good! So, where does that leave us to date? We have made a few changes in our plans. Now, we have decided to deliver in St Cloud insead of Little Falls. The reasons for this change are for better care for the baby. Knowing the he

art defect is there, we know that the baby's blood oxygen level wil be about 85. For normal people, their blood oxygen level (also called the pulse ox)is upper 90's to 100. knowing this ahead of time, St Cloud will know whats going on and not get worried. But Little Falls might find issue with this and send the baby down to St Cloud anyway. Then (of course) I'd send Adam to be with the baby and I would be stuck in Little Falls, recovering. No where near my baby. Obviously not a good thing! Plus, if we deliver in St Cloud, we can take the baby for an echocardiogram the day after birth and Dr Chip can make sure all is ok for the time being and we can put a plan in place for surgery. Great things, huh? So, I'm saddened that I won't be delivering with Dr Susan, but we all know that once kids are in the equation, the main concern is never you. Its all about the kids and their safety and well being.

So, thats where we stand. We have a picture that Dr Chip drew for us and I'll try to get that scanned in so I can explain what they'll do in the surgery and be able to point out the exact issues.

As for Anthony, we suspect he has at least one tooth coming in and its taking its dear sweet time. We've been batttling it for a weeks now. Anytime now, Mr Tooth!! Other than that, Anthony is working very well at sleeping through the night. He even really likes his bedtime around 9:30 and waking up around 8:30. He tends to wake up very refreshed and slightly hyper. Of course he also gets excited at the mention of breakfast. One whole orange and his oatmeal. What a kid!

He has added a few more words. I think I know what he's saying, but who really knows? He's added words like Again (agah!), thwoop (a sound effect from one of his new books, he says thwoo!), boo (buh!), quack (qua qua!), this (dis), sit (sih!). and of course more all the time. He has such a love of learning and books. He is always carrying around books, handing them to us and urging us to read to him. He even enjoys a book i liked when I was little called Chicka Chicka ABC. He lokes the BOOM BOOM parts. Such a nut!

On the potty training front, we are getting back on track a little. He sits on his potty when asked, and just the other day, he peed in the potty! Adam thinks I got him too excited because he grabbed the part that their business goes into and flung it into the air. Pee went all over him, me, his toy box, his toys, the towel, everything in range for a golden shower. But, you know that I couldn't scold him because that might make him afraid to potty in the chair again or make him upset when he atually did do a good thing. Plus the kid was already upset about getting drenched. He hasn't done anything in there yet again, but we are working on it and trying to keep patience.

We had two Easters this year. One was the weekend before with Adam's dad's side (it was Grandpa Florian's birthday too) but sadly, Anthony got very little sleep the night before and was starting this teething, so he was less than happy the whole time. He cried through dinner, barely went looking for eggs, and was an all around grump. We didn't worry though since we still had another Easter day for all that. The next weekend went better. Anthony had a blast exploring the park, going down the slide, going on a seesaw, swinging, and all the running around. He even ate a fair amount at dinner! We hit a snag after dinner when we tried to change his diaper (he had held his pee for awhile and ended up letting it fly during the diaper change. NOT good. Poor kid ended up needing a wardrobe change before egg hunting. The bigger kids were mostly done by the time we go out there, but i think that was best. Then the older kids were checking out their findings while Anthony was looking for the eggs Adam had held back for the lil man. Anthony loved looking for eggs. He mostly liked finding the egg, cracking it open, and throwing the candy on the ground. He was more interested in the egg! After the hunt, we let him play for a bit before heading home. Poor kid crashed out for the whole ride home! He was so cute for both Easters and made me cry when I saw him eating a sugar cookie. He's growing up so fast. In fact, I need to make a drs apointment for him (and myself) for two weeks from now for his 18 month check up.

18 months. OMG! Thats a long time for a mom! It goes by so fast and it seems like in the blink of an eye, your baby is grown, walking, talking, and feeding themselves. Learning to use a potty chair, exploring the world, and showing their independence. Thank God he still comes running to us when he needs that bit of comfort or likes to flash that big toothy grin when he's looking for approval. Even now, he just tried a headstand on the other side of the couch. Silly boy. I wonder how he'll handle the new baby and how our family dynamic will be enhanced. Going to be interesting. Stay tuned, I guess!

OH! and THANK YOU to those who take the time to read rather than just asking us over and over after each appointment or expecting a phone call. This is much more time efficient.And I know that everyone is straight on the details. Now to get th lazies on board...

Quick update!

Ok, so I'm behind on the updates, but that's ok, because it mostly brings good news.
I ended up hearing from the cardiologist on Wednesday. He confirmed that the baby has a complete AV canal defect. The hole is still there, its between the lower chambers of the heart (if I remember correctly from the u/s) and its still going to need surgery to fix it. Here's the good news. He recommends surgery between 3 and 9 months old. If all keeps going in the direction its going, he sees no risk to me delivering in the hospital of our choice when I go into labor on my own and bringing the baby home in about the same timeline as a healthy baby gets to come home. We'll obviously have to keep monitoring this to make sure there are NO risks to the baby and we will have to also do echocardiograms (heart u/s) to assess the baby's heart after birth, but its looking good SO FAR. (I can't stress that enough, everything is still up in the air for now. SO FAR is the best I can offer until we are about 6-10 weeks further into the pregnancy). He also said that he has rarely had to repeat the surgery so one shot and we should be all good to go. Its still open heart surgery and obviously there are still MAJOR risks (infection, the repair doesn't take, heart doesn't restart, etc), but knowing that there is rarity in repeat surgeries is a good thing. I'm still able to see my OB (she's closer, I know and trust her, and she's communicating everything back and forth with the clinic and the hospital) and still able to do all the routine stuff there in Little Falls. We still have monthly appointments in St Cloud and might have some more appointments with the cardiologist (hopefully he'll be there this time!), but its all looking like the prayers are working in our favor.
I can't say it enough. THANK YOU for your prayers. Please keep praying as I feel its having some effect. And its also nice to know that there are people out there thinking of us and wishing for the best outcome possible. Thanks be to all the people out there who have taken to praying, good thoughts, and best wishes. But I can't thank everyone and leave out God for his part. God, you already know how this is all going to play out, but I thank you for your blessing of this beautiful baby growing inside and the blessing of good drs and good news. I pray that you continue to bless us and give us an amazing outcome for this journey. We trust in you, believe in your miracles, and are eternally thankful that you have done so much for us so far. I can never thank you enough for what you have given us.

Now, I want to address something before it gets out of hand. Yes, there is still a chance this baby could have Down's. I've never made a secret of it and yes, I do have some fears with this probability. I want to come out and say it to anyone who thinks otherwise. Adam and I are NOT upset that there is a chance for Down's. The Down's is such a minimal worry of ours. We don't worry about the condition itself, we worry about the complications that can and often do come with it like bowel obstructions, heart problems, fluid in the lungs, mental restrictions, and of course how the world will treat our miracle, should it come out with Down's. I have had comments made to me about the Downs that disturb me and I've done what I felt best at the time to address those comments. No, we obviously won't terminate at any time if Downs becomes a certainty. We won't freak out over what could come our way with this condition. I want others to understand that Down's is NOT a horrible thing. I'd have a lot more issues coming to terms with a condition like spina bifida, autism, cerebral palsy, or anything else that is totally life altering. Those conditions take a lot of work (all of them do, really) and in some cases, their condition will mean a shortened life span.
For now, our focus is on the baby's heart, watching for bowel problems, keeping an eye on the fluid around the lungs, and any other complications. Let's leave the future in the future and not worry about what we don't know just yet. Let's not start worrying about quality of life because of the possibility of a condition like Down's. Its not even a for sure thing and we aren't worried about that. The other health risks that come with it, of course we worry about those. But let's not start worrying about the other crap. Let's focus the good energy on the baby and making sure we are doing all we can and praying for the things we have no control over.

We have another appointment next Wednesday in Little Falls with our regular OB and at that appointment, we'll be addressing the pains in my belly (painful Braxton Hicks?), the sciatic problems, and all the other discomforts that I don't remember from last time. Since it wasn't really made an issue at the appointment in St Cloud, we'll make sure our OB checks us out head to toe on that.
I also have my Glucose Tolerance test coming up. I don't mind the test itself, really. When I was pregnant with Anthony, I believe I was told to not eat anything from about midnight on until after the appointment, but I was allowed all the water I wanted. Yay. Starve a pregnant woman. Never a good idea. Well, good news this time is I just can't eat anything super sweet in the hours leading up to the appointment (which is a morning appointment so I won't suffer long). I don't mind the stuff you have to drink. To me, its like a more concentrated orange soda. I have heard horror stories of it being flat, no taste, thick, warm, and there being a LOT of it to drink. I guess I got off scott free last time because mine was ICE cold (YAY!) and I didn't think it was a lot to drink (you have like 5-10 mins to slam about 8-10 oz I believe), wasn't thick, and tasted like super sweet orange soda. Now, the effect on Anthony was CRAZY! He went NUTS! He became a super hyper little turkey. Kicking, punching, wiggling, spinning, and stretching the whole time until the sugar wore off. HOLY CRAP it was nuts. I know this baby won't be any different (well, maybe more hyper) but we'll see. This baby goes crazy over a little bit of chocolate, so we'll have to hang on tight and see how we handle it. The worst part of the whole test (in my eyes) is a tie between the fasting before and the blood draw. UGH, I HATE needles. I hate seeing them go into my skin, I hate seeing them in my skin, I hate the thought. Distract me the best you can. I also hated having that IV in my hand when I gave birth to Anthony, so you can imagine how thrilled I am when they have to draw blood (or for the IV for the delivery!). Oh well, its all for a healthier baby, so I'll do it. Anything for my kids.

And what kind of mom would I be if I didn't put on some stuff about Anthony. The kid is growing FAST. He's stretching into a lot more of his 18 month stuff and now weighs about 22 lbs. I would say the 23 that the scale said, but he had a wet diaper on when we weighed him. The diapers are about .5 to a full lb when fully wet, so he loses credit for that.
And the personality has grown EVEN MORE! I didn't think it was possible! We had apartment inspections this past week so we had to make sure the apartment was looking good and they could get their inspections done without incident. Anthony took the opportunity to embrace the empty living room (void of the toys EVERYWHERE) and started really using his ride on toys. The kid is crazy! He makes the car noises when he's cruising along on his sit n scoot, rides Leo the Lion while slapping Leo's nose (it makes his nose light up and he sings and makes noise), and he throws his balls all over. I got him on of those bigger playground balls that isn't as big as a yoga ball, but its bigger than the regular playground balls. I came in the door, handed the ball to the kid, and he took off running with it in his arms and totally ditched saying welcome home to me. He then played with it for the next 2 hours before bed. He threw it around, tried to lay on top of it, kicked it, played catch with us (mostly the ball just bounced off his head, but he loved it), and wouldn't let it far out of his sight. He'd get up on the couch with the ball, sit down like a big boy, then throw the ball off the couch and go chase after it. He has NEVER played with just one toy so intensely before. He couldn't even be distracted by a sippy! I got the idea to get this ball after MaryAnne had one at her house when we had her watching Anthony. He did the same thing with the one at their house. Carried it around, threw it, kicked it, climbed on top, the whole nine. So, that was probably the best $3 toy that I've bought him yet! Its so cute to watch him try so hard to climb on top of it, lay on his belly on top, and then suddenly the ball rolls out from underneath him and he goes flying in one direction or another to the floor. He always looks up at us and smiles and goes back for more. Gotta love the drive this kid has. Does NOT give up at all.
I've noticed more words. Me thinks its time to watch my language as he's saying an S word that sounds like a naughty word, but he also could be saying Sit. He also has started saying Boo (BUH!) when playing peek a boo. He'll say it in hopes that you say it soon after and giggles like a fiend when you do say it back. He knows what a banana is and seems to be saying nanana. This could be a form of him saying neh neh like he used to when he was hungry, but we'll have to see where nanana ends up going. He also seems to be catching on to "What's this?" (wah dis), and in return, we will tell him what he's pointing to or what he has in his hand. He seems to love this game. He doesn't say it often, but he will acknowledge that you told him what the object is. His Bah (Ball) is coming along well too. He likes the kind of balls that have the little spikes on them. He really likes it when its of a smaller size and we can roll it all over his head, chest, legs, and belly while saying Ball!. He'll bust out laughing and start saying Tika Tika! (Tickle tickle). He'll even walk up to one of us and say Tika Tika! and we'll take it upon ourselves to start nibbling his ribs or blowing on his belly to tickle him while saying Tickle tickle! Oh how he loves that. He'll laugh until he's breathless. He has gotten back to saying Mama and dada with an occasional papa. Adam likes Papa more than Dada, but papa seems to be more work. Anthony does know that Papa and dada are the same person at least!
Anthony also recognizes the sound that the shower makes when you are flipping the lever for the shower and turning off the water. He starts laughing and gasping his OOOOO! in anticipation for a little peek a boo with the shower curtain. This is often when he'll start saying BUH! Buh! in hopes of telling us he wants to play peek a boo. Who can say no when he asks like that? He sometimes recognizes the car (the muffler is falling off again) and knows that his papa is in the parking lot, but he ALWAYS knows the sound of the keys in the lock. He'll go RACING (no kidding, full speed run) down the hallway to get to the door. Once we have the door unlocked, we'll pop it open just enough that he can pull it the rest of the way open and let you in. But he doesn't just let you in, he grabs your leg and PULLS you in. Many times he'll take off running into the hallway once he has you in the door. If he doesn't take off, he's amazing at closing the door. He really doesn't like an open door at all. He'll pull everyone in the same room and close the door. This past Wednesday, Adam was getting ready for work (he closes every other Wed. so he goes in later) and Anthony wouldn't let Adam leave the bedroom. He kept chasing Adam down, pulling him in the bedroom, and closing the door. Finally, Adam managed to get out the bedroom door and had to grab a gate to lock himself into the bathroom away from the little turkey. You can imagine that this didn't sit well with Anthony. He was very conflicted on what to do. He tried to chase Adam down, but seeing the gate, he knew he couldn't get to his papa. So he would start closing the bedroom door, but then thought otherwise and opened it again. He went back and forth for about 5 mins until he decided the door needed to be closed and slammed it shut. He also doesn't like being ushered out into the hallway so we can put up the gate and go into the living room. He'll scream bloody murder and its hard to get him refocused on going and playing in the living room to start the day. And yes, he climbs the gates. He'll throw things over the gate to have the excuse to start climbing. And yes, he has gotten over the gate. He ended up almost cracking his head open while I was doing dishes one day. Doesn't stop him from trying though!
We've been working on taking down the barricade so he has more room to run, which makes for more work for us since that is what keeps him out of the dvd tower, the dining room table, the garbage, and the kitchen. He knows where he can squeeze his scrawny self through and get into the kitchen, but luckily, he gets so excited, he makes a ton of noise and we figure out whats up pretty fast.
He's really gotten into facial expressions even more too. That kid can give a MEAN side eye (I do this to him as my evil eye and to tell him I mean business) and he's copied my gasp. He'll do a deep intake of air while doing his OOOOOO!!! face and then when I bust out laughing, he scrunches his whole face up and laughs like a little fiend. Its the funniest thing ever. He also does the gasp and giggle as I give him each section of his daily orange. Its like giving a kid the most prized of toys...that is, until he bites into that poor orange and brutally rips it apart, juices flying all over and dripping down his chin and chest. He loves his oranges. He'll eat a whole orange all by himself and gets REALLY upset if I steal any for myself. I bought strawberries the other day (OMG PERFECT color, size, and flavor!!) and he even gave me the side eyed look to get me to cut some up for him. Now, he likes his chocolate like any kid would (small amounts every once in a while unless I'm eating another cadbury egg...I get attacked!), but he LOVES his fresh fruit. Bananas, oranges, strawberries, mango, grapes, cantalope, berries, you name it. He'll eat it if it was frozen (and warmed), but he loves fresh. I think he likes the huge mess it makes all over. He's gotten more than one bath after a meal just because he was so sticky from the juice. But, since its something so healthy (and hasn't given him any issues at all!), who am I to deny him something he loves so much. He's still pretty keen on his veggies too. Mostly cut carrots and peas (ooo the squish!), but he'll eat just about any. He doesn't get much refined sugar, so he loves his produce. All the better, right?
Well, I'm going to head to bed. Its been quite the day today and I'm starting to feel REALLY stiff. Its going to take a little longer for me to get up and going for bed so I'm going to start now.
In the mean time, keep up the prayers and happy thoughts and keep checking back for more updates. I promise I'm going to try to get to a regular weekly posting. Things have just been chaotic. Possible teeth coming in again!

The kids!

Oh man, the kids are starting a little early with the sibling rivalry. I'll have Anthony on my chest (and belly) and the baby will start kicking and hitting right where Anthony is laying. Anthony then gets all worked up and sits back, then starts head butting and poking at my belly (mainly my belly button) as if to tell the baby to knock it off. He's still not happy that he can't lay on my chest like he used to, but he's getting used to having to put one leg on either side of my belly when he gives me his hugs and kisses. He sure does like giving the baby kisses too. Its so cute. He'll lean forward and kiss my belly button. But its not like a simple muah! quick peck. No, its an akward long kiss that often leaves a small bit of spit on my shirt or belly (depending if my shirt has been pulled up or not). He'll do this several times until I have to tell him "No more kisses for baby right now". He's just a little charmer!
He's taken a lot more to riding around on his toys that he's supposed to ride around on. The red Radio Flyer scooter we got for him for Christmas and Leo the lion (that he got from Debbie, Mike, Katrina, Kallie, and Great Grandma Rose) seem to be the favorites. He'll ride down the hall way smacking Leo's nose (which is the switch to play music and his nose lights up and he laughs) when it stops. Its the CUTEST thing ever. He's really catching on that he can ride on these, he just has to keep his feet going because they don't go on their own.
He also went pee in the potty for me once! I try to put him on the potty during diaper changes (its his no diaper time to prevent him from getting that nasty diaper butt) and he'll take things that are small enough and put them in the part of the potty that catches the business they make. Well, its usually the tub of diaper cream. This one particular day, he had shoved the tub in there and couldn't get it back out while he was sitting down. I thought I would help and was confused when I felt that the tub was wet. I had Anthony stand up while I pulled it out and saw a little pee in the pan/catcher thing. OMG he had PEED IN THE POTTY! I started in really heavy with the praise and could tell that he was just LOVING it! He was excited that he had done something so good (even if he had NO idea what it was!) and gave me the biggest grin he could. He hasn't done it since and I can tell that he really wants to do it again to get all the praise, but we are working on it. He really likes to sit on it, even if he has a diaper on. He also likes to play with the pan part. He'll carry it around, put it on his head, step in it, put toys in it, anything you can imagine. Might have to start breaking him of this little habit so he knows that its for pee, not toys. I wouldn't want him learning that he can put his toys in the toilet later on when he's moved on to that.
He's also taking on a few more words. They escape me now, but I'll start writing them down. I swear the other day he said done, thanks, please, and shoe. Of course in his little toddler way, but I swear that's what each sounded like. He loves his books and LOVES counting the monkeys and lady bugs in his two counting books. He won't let us close the book until he's counted them all. And he'll carry one of these books around the house for us to read during the day. I hope he's a little book worm like me! He's also loving going outside. Its still a little chilly so that full body bunting (Thanks for the idea, Shannon!) is PERFECT for him to go outside. It was the best $30 I've spent on an outer outfit for him. Its a burnt orange with these spikes on top that make him look like a dinosaur. He's just adorable in it and he loves that he can go outside and wander around in it. He still gets a little too excited when he's going outside and will tend to trip, but he's the kind of kid that gets right back up and goes for it again without a tear.
As for the baby and the pregnancy, the belly is getting huge and hard. If I eat a big meal, I look like I'm about to pop. This wasn't a good thing when we went to Olive Garden (OMG the soffatelli and chicken was AMAZING!) and I ate my heart out before we went to Old Navy to see if they had any pants for me. I was unable to get into a size 12, but the 14s were a bit snug and the 16s were pretty big. One pair made me look AMAZINGLY HUGE! I told Adam I looked like I was almost overdue, not 6 months pregnant! Of course he just smiles because he takes pride in the belly. Its kinda cute to see him with a puffed out chest when talking about the belly that's carrying his baby. I believe I've gained about 8 lbs so far. I don't think that's bad at all. I didn't drop much before, but at least I'm not in the double digits yet. The swelling has been pretty minimal so far and I'm still able to wear my rings. I hope I can until at least May when we have to get them inspected. Then I might put it away until after I deliver. We'll see though. Maybe it will get stuck and I'll have to wear it the whole time ;). Ok, so that wouldn't be the best, but I had to say it. I don't like being without my rings.
Baby is SO active! I often get kicked in the sides, lower pelvis where my pants sit, or way up high on the top. I've even been kicked up top and in the lower pelvis area at the same time. Judging from how we were situated on Monday, its quite possible we had one foot in each place and were trying to stretch for more room. Sorry, baby love. Its only going to get to be tighter as the time goes on! Adam is able to feel most of it, but its finally getting to where you can just barely see the movement from the outside.
I have been having some pains across the top of my belly. I can only describe them as maybe painful Braxton Hicks? The top third of my belly gets really hard, its a little harder to breathe, and it lasts for a little while. I made mention of it at the appointment, but no one said anything about it being of concern, so I'll just bring it up to the OB when I see her in about 2 weeks. She'll be able to sit with us and talk more about anything she sees one way or the other. I'm also thinking its time for that LOVELY glucose test. YAY. I actually don't mind it, but its how hyper the baby seems to get from the sudden sugar spike (and the fasting before). I'm not sure if I will be doing it this coming appointment, but I'm also not sure how often we'll be doing appointments. We are set up to go for monthly visits in St Cloud at the clinic there and our OB is basically working around them. Last time we saw her was obviously a month ago, but she said go ahead and wait 2 more weeks so that we aren't doing 2 appointments the same week.
But all seems to be going well. Belly is growing, Anthony is stretching out a bit more, we are getting a little more prepped for the new baby (we bought a box of size 1 huggies snugglers last week and have been packing up Anthony's clothes that no longer fit), and Adam and I are a little more relaxed with everything. I can tell he's getting excited to find out what we are going to be blessed with this time around. We still both have our idea of what we are having, but we aren't pushing either way. We often look at Anthony and think "OMG. In no time flat we'll have TWO kids. They'll probably BOTH be hyper little turds. We are SCREWED!" and then smile that nervous but happy smile. Eh, always an adventure with us!
Its been a fairly good stretch of days. We pray that it keeps up. Nice weather, healthy family, and all, what can be better?

Wow, kinda a big waste...

But not really at the same time.
So, we had our 2 drs appointments on Monday. We were really anxious to get these over and done with because it meant we would be walking out with more answers and more knowledge. Little did we know, the day was going to be a LOT longer than we had planned. Thank God for family babysitting!
Day starts out with us dropping off Anthony to MaryAnne's house (CANNOT thank her enough for watching him!) and heading down to St Cloud hospital. I wasn't able to find the paperwork they had sent telling us what room we would be in, what doors to go in (this hospital is HUGE), and all I knew was the time to be there and the dr we were supposed to see. So, we planned on parking on the one side with the most spots and just hoofing it to where we needed to go. We went in door E and ended up having to walk to door B. Yay. I was out of breath, but just glad to be getting the day started. While waiting for them to call us in, Adam and I passed the time comparing what level of Angry Birds we were on. LOL I laugh because I didn't remember that the day before I had cranked the volume on my phone so that Anthony could play with the Toddler lock, scream, and still hear the music it was playing. WHOOPSIE! Sorry, other people!
We get called in and I get a gooey belly going on for the lady to do the echocardiogram. Basically, a ultrasound that is probably more high powered than the usual ones so they can see the baby's heart. The lady barely said anything the whole time and when she did talk, it was like talking to Captain Obvious. Yes, I know that looks like a blue candy cane and that looks like a red candy cane. I know you are checking out all the valves and vessels. Talk to me about something else too! The room was SO dark and the fans from the computer and the sonogram machine were just loud enough to make decent white noise. Mix that with a belly massage (she wasn't poking and prodding hard at all) and I'm in and out. Adam zonked out too. This lady had it about as dark as our bedroom at home. We never stood a chance (plus I don't think either one of us slept really good despite going to bed much earlier than normal). I kept having to flip and flop from side to side to my back to get a good view of certain parts of the heart.
Then I mention something about the small hole in the heart that we had been told about and she THEN takes the time to mention "Dr. Chip will be calling you at a later date after he's seen the pictures I get for the official diagnosis." Umm, EXCUSE ME?!?! I was told we would get to talk to him TODAY. WTF?!? She then tells me "He's got the day off because of a personal family emergency". Ok, I'll accept that (knowing it could be one of a MILLION things and I can't fault the guy for taking the day off if something major is going on. Adam and I were pretty upset that we wouldn't get to talk to him that day (mostly because Adam has to work the rest of the week and not knowing when the dr will call, we don't know if Adam will be there to hear what he has to say!), but we understood it as something beyond his control and tried to just cope. Well, my first appointment was at 10:30 at the hospital and the second was at 12:30 at the same clinic we went to last time. There's a few miles between and its going to be about lunch hour rush, but we thought "Eh, we'll be fine and maybe able to grab a bite between because this isn't supposed to take more than 90 mins" WRONG. This lady let us out shortly after 12 and we had JUST enough time to get back to the car, drive to the clinic, and check in there.
We did check in early, but you have to remember, I'm running on fumes (an apple, a banana, and some grape juice for each of us around 9), Adam is ready for at least a snack (and neither one of us wanted fast food), so we PRAYED this appointment didn't run long and we could get our stuff done and get some food. OMG Wrong again. Since we checked in early and they took us back early, we ended up having to wait about 15 mins for the ultrasound tech to come in and get us after the lpn did her thing with the weight, blood pressure, etc. This is where we were asked what dr we had seen at the hospital. When we mentioned we hadn't because Dr Chip was out, she mentioned that "Yea, he's out on a personal day. He found out on Thursday that him and his partner are able to adopt a baby. Today is the day they get to pick the baby up."
Wait. WHAT?!? Ok, we find issues with A LOT of this. Let me clarify first and foremost, we are happy that he was able to adopt a baby like they had been planning. Its an exciting time and we can't be upset with him for that. What we are pissed about is that he found out on Thursday about this going to be happening on Monday and NO ONE called us to reschedule or even let US know!! Kinda a big deal because we had a sheet FULL of questions we had written down to ask him! We wanted to get a diagnosis! We wanted to be together when we heard the news, not have to hear it over the phone whenever! Need I also remind you that adoptive parents are privy to the same rights as birth parents. They are able to get 6 weeks of leave to get everything settled with the baby. I'm not going to wait 6 friggin weeks to get news on my baby! Why weren't we told about this chink in the plans? We could have at least prepared, if not rescheduled for a time when he would be there. Again, NO hard feelings toward the Dr, and Congrats to him and his partner. His office should have pulled their heads out of their butts and told his appointments for that day that he wouldn't be in and we could figure out a better time to meet with him.
ANYWHO, we had to wait about 15-20 mins for the tech to come in because they took us back like RIGHT AWAY when we got there. Finally get the tech in and YAY!!! its the same lady! She was so awesome last time so I was feeling pretty good. You know the feeling. When you feel you can trust someone because they don't talk over your head with medical jargon, they laugh with you, you can crack a joke or two, they just make you COMFORTABLE.
She gets to measuring and makes sure to tell us to close our eyes in time (still team GREEN!) so we don't see any body parts we shouldn't, and takes all kinds of good pictures for us. I swear she's obsessed with profiles because she gave us a few of those, I believe. Really great lady about our age. Baby is measuring on target to about a week and a half ahead for some measurements. NOT a bad thing at all. The bigger (and most anyone will understand what I mean when I say this) the baby, the better they fair when it comes to health issues. You don't want a smaller baby to have to deal with some bigger issues. Baby behaved and EVERYTHING so she was able to get her share of the appointment done fairly easily and then stepped out to get the dr and compare the measurements from last time to this time. She left me all goopy just in case the dr wanted to do a few scans of his own. 30 mins passes. No dr.
45 mins passes, still no dr, but Cassie (the tech) checks in and lets us know we haven't been forgotten and that if we need the bathroom or whatever to go for it.
60 mins pass, no dr.
I kid you not, Cassie ended up checking in on us like 3-4 times. Each time apologizing for the wait and letting us know we haven't been forgotten, the dr is just in with another patient. Ok, that's fine I guess. What else can we really do except wait?
90 freaking minutes pass and STILL NO DOCTOR. Ok, this is stupid. First appointment we don't get to talk to the dr because his office staff have their heads in the clouds and aren't thinking of the people who had planned (and made appointments JUST SO they could speak to the dr!), and now we have to wait an HOUR AND A HALF for the dr to NOT show up and talk to us. I understand he's a busy man, but he couldn't even be bothered to tell the nurses how much longer he would be with this other patient. Mind you, its 2 pm. Neither one of us had eaten, we are stuck in a room with no tv or anything like that, no food, and no information. We were pretty pissed off. Luckily Cassie came in and told us since we had been waiting so long, they were going to comp us for our time. We took the cafeteria comp and got some food. OMG it felt so good just to have the friggin food in my hands. I was starting to shake, I was so starved!
We knew that once we got back up to the floor we had just come from that they would probably call us back right away because that's just how it ALWAYS happens. Sure enough, they call us back, but this time they take us to a room and the lpn sets up for the dr to show us something on the computer and tells us he should be in shortly. I'm half way through my pretzel when he FINALLY shows up (like 2:30 or so for crying out loud!!!). He said he had just gotten off the phone with the lady from the hospital and was going to talk to us about what she had found and what Cassie had taken photos of.
Basically, no NEW news. Which is a good thing because its not more bad news, just more of the same, things we had learned from research, or a glimmer of good news. Join me as I recall it.
The hole in the baby's heart puts us in the category of a complete endocardial cushion defect. Pretty big news, but the hole is not big. Still won't heal on its own, but its not like I had pictured in my mind. Surgery is still needed, but if we keep on this track (its too soon to tell one way or the other, we are cautiously hopeful), we won't need surgery right away. We will keep up with our monthly visits with this dr so he can keep monitoring the progress that is or isn't being made. We are encouraged to keep up our regular appointments in Little Falls (THANK GOD ABOVE!!) and its looking hopeful (keep that word in mind, its HOPEFUL) that we can deliver on our own (Go into labor on naturally) in Little Falls (same hospital and dr we had for Anthony, GREAT dr and nurses!) and quite possibly be able to go home in a reasonable time frame without extra equipment (ie, oxygen, monitors, etc). Of course this is ALL depending on what we see at weeks 32 and 36. We can't make any for sure plans and have to keep it in our minds that delivering in the Cities still could happen. Nothing is for sure either way right now.
They are looking at the possibility that there could be underlying issues that we just can't see yet. There is also still a chance that the baby has downs (which carries certain health risks too), but we can't be sure until baby is here. With downs, there is a chance for bowel problems (obstructions around the duodenum, fixable with a fairly simple surgery) and the fluid around the lungs needs to be monitored too just in case it could lead to issues with baby's lungs. Again, too soon to tell.
But a fair amount of news that left us feeling a small weight lifting. We had some answers and some answers for now (we'll have to revisit some questions, obviously), but nothing was really upsetting. We were warned that baby very well might end up being born small (babies with heart problems typically are), and that is a big reason as to why they are going to try and let us get to full term and go into labor on our own, as long as there is NO risk to the baby. Heaven forbid they see ANY risk to the baby, its time to take the baby before I would go into labor on my own. Obviously the bigger the baby, the better they do on the outside, so that's why they are going to let us go as long as its safe. That was comforting, since I was having fears that they would have to FOR SURE take the baby sooner (our OB thought they could possibly take the baby 1-2 weeks early) or that I would FOR SURE have to be induced.
Now, it might seem that we are being left to hang in the wind, but we really aren't. The defect is still there, nothing has really changed, we just got more info and some things got cleared up for us. We had basically started to accept the worst case scenario where I would have to deliver early in the Cities, surgery very well could be right away, I'd be induced, baby would be sick from the start (low pulse Oxygen numbers) and I would have to stay down in the Cities for at least a week, spending time away from family and ESPECIALLY my boys. But now we have more possibilities reopened for us. We don't know anything for sure and won't for about 8 weeks or so, but at least we have been reassured that so far, so good. No changes that put anyone on alert YET. There's still time for things to pop up for us, but for now, all is good. Baby looks healthy, moves a lot, and is measuring just where we want.
Now we just need to hear from that pediatric cardiologist Dr Chip. Pray he calls tomorrow when Adam gets home. I'd really like to have Adam here so we can all talk together.
I'll update more on the pregnancy and Anthony in the next post. For now, I'm going to go chill on the couch for a little bit. Please keep praying and take heart, I think that its working in the sense that we have NO MORE BAD NEWS for now. I do feel I can let loose a few happy tears.
Thank you, God. We appreciate your gift and don't take for granted its size. We are thankful for no bad news and a glimmer of cautious hope. We pray that you keep your hands on our family and keep them all safe and healthy. We also pray for more progress and no more health issues with the baby. As for the other things I pray for, I continue praying. I won't say it here, but you know what I ask for in my heart. I pray it all in your name and give MANY thanks to you!
Amen! Hallelujah!!

*Le Sigh*

So, since we've last come together, a few small things have happened.
We found out the name of the cardiologist who will be seeing us on April 4th for another u/s, formal diagnosis, and plan of action. Turns out, this guy is like, THE BEST there is and really knows his stuff. Not to mention, he's also the cardiologist that Adam's uncle sees once a year for his annuals. That is GOOD news! He also has a team of surgeons that he uses from the U of M that I can only assume are top notch also. Adam and I are really excited to get to meet this guy, find out who he turns us to, and see what the plan is. There is so much up in the air, it would be REALLY nice to get something more solid or at least in writing.
Besides that, we have gotten a HUGE outpouring of support. I can't even begin to tell you what this means to me. We have people I have never met praying for our family. We have people in the family and even just friends stepping out of the woodwork and offering all sorts of things. Babysitting, sitting with us while we are in the Cities for surgery/delivery, a place to crash, you name it. OMG I'm SO touched with how many people are even just offering words of comfort. You really don't know how this effects me. I'm tearing up right now just thinking about all the kind souls out there. I knew I had a huge family of people we could lean on, but its been amazing what we have gotten.
I've even extended to my mom the desire for her to be out here for the birth/surgery if at all possible, since we know pretty much when the baby will be born. For anyone who missed it, I am not allowed to go into labor on my own this time, we have to schedule it and hopefully I will avoid a C section! We believe we are aiming for between 37 and 39 weeks. My mom has told me that my step dad REALLY wants to come up here sometime during the summer, but they hadn't talked about dates. Giving them an idea of when we would REALLY like them to be here and about how long, they now have something that they can look forward to and hopefully plan on. Pray that all goes well with this idea and that their travel (they want to drive) goes smoothly.
Adam and I have since stopped the spontaneous bursting into tears. I think we really stopped getting misty eyed about it daily after the 3rd day (the day we announced it formally, I believe). While its touching that people still worry and tend to burst into tears from time to time, we believe that the time for tears is past (or just ahead, who knows), and its time to start putting plans into place. After all, tears can only do so much and they rarely help the situation.
We have done more research and believe we know about what level the baby's heart defect is, what can be done, and what to expect post op. We just have to get this all straight with the drs before we get our hearts set one way or another. BUT! Our research has given us A LOT of hope. Most children with this defect (Downs or not) go on to live happy, healthy, long lives. Some do need surgery later on also for various problems, but its rarely something serious. Also, we have learned that the time line for needing surgery is anywhere from birth to about 18 months, depending on what needs to be done and the degree of surgery they do. All in all, our situation could be MUCH worse and we are thankful that it seems to be a lesser deal. No, I'm not down playing the seriousness, but I'm trying to be thankful that instead of the baby's heart having NO endocardial cushion, there is something there, its not as serious as it could be, and there is something to build off of, rather than having to start from scratch. Its still a big deal, but its getting to be more understandable.
Baby is moving around SO much lately, and you can kinda feel it on the outside. Adam gets a giddy look on his face when he feels it and is always telling the baby "We love you! Keep growing and show us just how strong you are." Its super touching. Anthony even gets in on the loving baby action by kissing my belly. We even have some photos on facebook of Anthony asleep, cuddling my belly. He's been such a good kid lately.
Last, but most certainly not least, there's my lil man, Anthony. What a spit fire that kid is! We have been super lucky to get some really nice weather up here (mid 50s today!) and he's been able to get out more, play outside the house, and go places. He's enjoying it SO much, he comes home just EXHAUSTED. Adam even has me bringing Anthony with me when I go into work rather than him coming home. Adam likes showing off his kid a bit and we both find it HILARIOUS when Anthony starts pushing one of the smaller grey carts around the store. He crashes into things all the time, of course, but its so funny to see this little 2 1/2 foot ball of energy pushing this big cart around the store. He loves it, and he likes it even more when no one tries to help him. He's also walking SO well in shoes with a more stiff sole. This is good because it should help with his balance and all. He just loves getting out and we love that it helps him sleep like a rock at night. 3 nights and counting of sleeping through the night. I don't know if I dare count tonight since the people upstairs are being loud and waking him, but I'll take it when I don't have to keep going in there to get him back down.
No progress on the potty training yet. I haven't really tried either, though. I have time and I still have to finish the book, but Anthony loves sitting on his potty and watching tv or reading a book. I think its a good thing that he's so comfortable with it, we shouldn't have much issue. Now, finding over night diapers in his size? That's a battle I can't seem to win. NO WHERE in town sells any size smaller than a 4. My kid has been in a size 3 diaper since about 7 or 8 months. A size 4 would be HUGE on him since he has no butt for it to hold on to! Oh well, that battle, we'll fight another day. Thanks Diapers.com!
He's also talking more and more. We think he's starting "Bye Bye" (Buh Buh) and he even waves. But when he waves, he's waving his fingers on his lips. But he does it when he's trying to wave byebye, so it works for us. He does say a few other things, but I haven't been able to catch him saying it enough or been able to decipher it. This kid is seriously always on the run, so its hard to sit him down and see what he wants to say. He's also caused some SERIOUS owies to himself lately. He ran into a wall corner (he usually carries his ball when he runs into this corner and goes FLYING back when he collides, but this time, no ball, all skull) and about split his head open. His forehead is a lovely shade of green and brown right now from the healing bruise. He's also given himself ANOTHER bloody nose, this time we think he was running in the entry way and tripped on a shoe (his favorite toy, I swear) and hit both his upper and lower lip and nostril all on the left side. His lower lip got it the worst though and this bloody mark has since peeled off. Then he went rolling off the couch more than a few times one day (I swear, he's going to be a stunt man) and caused a mark next to his eye. For a few days, he looked like he belonged to the "Baby Fight Club". I promise, we don't beat him up. He's just that wound up always that he's always tripping, falling, and doing something that results in a boo boo. Thank God he doesn't whine and cry over every little thing.
I've also started reading "Happiest Toddler on the Block" We LOVED "Happiest Baby on the Block", so we thought we would see what the toddler book would offer. I haven't gotten very far, but I can already identify what kind of kid we have. We have the overly sensitive but easily over stimulated kind that you have to treat with kitten gloves to avoid total meltdowns, even when you are giving him what he wants. Take tonight for example. Anthony decided he was done with dinner so he took a bunch of food in each hand and threw it up in the air. Most landed back on his tray, but a few pieces went flying onto the floor. Adam and I both said "Anthony, NO!" and Adam told him "Naughty!" and shook his finger at the lil man. O.M.G. Anthony pulled the MOST heartbreaking look out of his bag of tricks. He started breathing heavily, the lower lip quivered hard core, and his eyes started to tear up. Adam and I looked at each other and about started crying ourselves. We knew he was tired and ready for bed, so we decided to avoid the tantrum at all costs and consoled the lil dude. This kid knows just what kind of things he can do to get your heart strings, I swear. But, we did avoid the melt down and he went to bed somewhat easily. Just a good example of how some kids you can scold with no reaction while others just take that tone of voice or something like it and they lose it. But "Happiest Toddler" promises to be a good read. If you have a kid between the ages of 9 months and 4 years, this book is supposed to be for us. I'll keep you posted on how it helps us out with tantrums, naughty behavior, and keeping this lil man from getting too wild.
I can't really think of anything else right now, so I'll end here. I'll update when I hear more, more happens, or if I get really bored.
Oh, before I log off, I just want to address something. I won't be posting photos of the kids on here AT ALL. Until I can make absolute sure that no freakish perv gets a hold of them, I won't be putting up photos on blogger. Facebook, yes, but not here. If you want to see photos, either head over to facebook or let me know and I'll see if I can email a few. Just a step I'm taking to keep the kids safe. I've heard of too many other moms having their photos pirated for over seas ads or being used in some sick way. Please respect this choice.
Hope all is well in your home!

Dear God, we need a miracle

Ok, so a lot has happened since I last put anything on here. Anthony is growing like a weed. He's almost entirely out of anything under 12 months (including some 12 month stuff!) and is a walking, talking, almost running tyrant! This kid GOES all day from about 8 am to about 9pm with only a 45 minute nap in the morning. He'll nap once in a while in the afternoon, but its getting pretty rare. He loves learning and exploring so much. He's learned how to climb things so he's all over the couch, the barricade, our bed, chairs, ANYTHING he feels is in his way and keeping him from exploring something around him. He's gotten a fair amount of bumps, bruises, and close calls. He even got his first bloody nose yesterday (wed, March 9) because he was playing with Grandma Tammie's tv and wound up somehow smashing his face into the entertainment center around it. We thought it was just a simple bump on the mouth until he came over bawling his eyes out holding his mouth. The blood came out of his nose about 30 seconds later. He wasn't too keen on anyone wiping it away and he certainly didn't like me putting aquaphor in his nostril to keep it moist and keep his finger out of there. Poor kid had a rough day yesterday!
His last check up was about 2 weeks ago and he's grown again! He was about 20 lbs, 12 oz and about 30 inches tall. My little man has sprouted up! He didn't like the RN/resident dr that came in to shadow our usual pediatrician. He didn't like her poking and prodding, but I think she was also SUPER nervous about being on her own in the room. Maybe we were one of the first ones she had done solo. Afterward, our usual pedi came in and talked to us and told us outright she wasn't concerned about his super slow weight gain because we see so many heavier babies anymore that it throws everyone off on what a baby "should" look like. I was so happy to hear those words for myself this time. Lets me know that she's paying attention to it, but she feels he's right on track with where he should be for his size.
He's saying more and more words and they are starting to sound more and more like words you or I would use. I think tonight he was saying "bah" (ball?) while he was in his bath, holding an orange ball. He's getting really good about understanding when you tell him "No!" and "Don't touch". We have issues with anything like "Come here" though. He's such a bull headed kid! But the vocabulary is coming along, slowly, but surely. I think he's perfecting words before he adds more. He even goes running to the door when I ask him "Who is at the door? Is Papa home? Go get that Dada!" He LOVES running and greeting Adam at the door. I'm sure Adam loves it too! I'll even hold off on changing a diaper if I hear the car pull up. Anthony does NOT like being contained when his Dada comes home. He will do ANYTHING to get down that hall and to that door before Adam has his shoes off.
We have tried a little of potty learning. Yea, I said potty learning. I've decided to change how I say it because the thought of training him to use the potty makes me feel more like an animal handler rather than his momma and teacher. But Anthony will sit on his potty chair for up to 5 minutes while watching tv (during diaper changes). He got such a big thrill out of the first time I put him on the potty and cheered because he sat there for about 10 seconds. After that, he wanted to show off that he could sit on there even longer. He showed Adam too when he got home. Adam was so proud! He handed Anthony a ball and Anthony shoved it between his legs into the pan that is supposed to collect everything. Oh well, at least he knows SOMETHING goes in there, we'll work on it not being toys and being more pee and poo later. Other than that, he seems to like hearing us tell him that his butt is wet when we change him and that he's dry when we are done. Could turn out to be an amazing thing to get him trained early!
Sadly, not everything I can report on is happy. Wednesday (again, March 9), we went to a dr's appointment down in St Cloud for a level 2 ultrasound. If you read any past entries on the other blog, you'd have read about why we needed this done. But for the rest who may read this, I'll back track a little.
Feb 9, we had a routine OB check up for me (and the new baby) and were offered the chance to get a blood screening done that would screen for risk factors for Spina Bifida, Neural Tube Defects, Down's syndrome, and other chromosomal abnormalities. We couldn't remember if we had for Anthony so we decided what the hay, why not? Well, we came back abnormal with elevated risk of Down's Syndrome. With this comes genetic counseling and a level 2 ultrasound in which they measure baby head to toe and try to pin point anything that may be wrong. Now, Before we went in for the counseling and the u/s, I was kicking myself HARD CORE for having agreed to this test and told other ladies that getting that test done is the stupidest thing you can do unless you have a risk factor in your family. Well, I got to eat my words at the appointment and they did NOT taste good or go down smoothly. We went through the counseling and the lady found no reason to be alarmed, but she shared the numbers that caused the test to come back the way it did.
Now, with this screening, there is a VERY high false positive rate (anywhere from 5% to about 80% false positives), but there are times when its DEAD ON. With each of the problems it screens for, there are certain markers that tell us what we are at risk for. Your numbers should be as close to 1 as possible on all 4 of the hormones they test. Ours were under 1 for 2 of them (about .84 and .60 I believe which was fine), but the other two hormones were HIGH. Our Estridol (I believe it was) was about 1.7 and our HcG was 2.84. VERY high. But, that doesn't mean for sure either way, it just means that our risk is higher than other women my age.
We went into the u/s feeling somewhat confident that we were in the clear, but slightly hesitant because that HcG number was really high. We knew that the u/s was going to take about an hour, so we knew we would get to find out a LOT of information. As the tech was measuring, we kept noticing that body parts were measuring about a week ahead. Not a bad thing at all since Down's syndrome kids have certain body parts that measure small. She checked leg bones, arm bones, baby's pinkies, it's nasal cavity, you name it and they all measured perfectly on track or ahead. I had made sure to drink a LOT of oj before this appointment so we wouldn't get a lazy bones, so the tech had her work cut out for her to get the more detailed measurements she needed. She got some AWESOME profile shots and even a few of cute little feet (actually, BIG feet!), hands, and full body shots. When it came to checking baby's heart, this is where she was having the most problems. Baby wouldn't stop wiggling and turning on her! We tried getting me up and going to the bathroom to make more room and see if that calmed down the little wild child. That barely worked, but it was enough. She found the part of the heart she needed to and this is where it all went bad. She noticed that something didn't look right. It looked like something was missing and there was a hole where they obviously shouldn't be. She checked a few more times, sent the photos she got to the dr, and then went to go talk to him. We knew something was wrong, but we were hoping that it wasn't serious.
About 10 minutes later, a gentleman about my dad's age (maybe a little older) walked in and started double checking baby's heart. Sure enough, he saw the same thing she did and began to tell us what it meant. Basically, if you cut a heart in half top to bottom so that you have a front half and a back half, you would see a cross like formation in the middle with the two arms on the side slightly offset. With our baby, it looked more like a capital T with the arms on the sides at the same height. He mentioned that the part at the top was missing and this wasn't a good thing. Basically, it meant that the baby is going to need open heart surgery to fashion some sort of structure there to keep the blood on the left away from the blood on the right (Blood to the lungs on one side and blood to the body on the other). This is NOT something that will heal on its own. The hole is less of a concern because there are 3 possibilities with that. The hole could grow with the baby's heart, could stay the same size and not grow, or it could close up on its own. Both problems being something we would need to keep an eye on to make sure things don't get worse. The baby's heart right now is about the size of a dime to the size of a nickle. The hole is about the size of the president's nose on either one of those coins. Its much less of a concern for now, but the missing part in the heart, that's big.
Well, that's not all either. Both the tech and the dr found fluid around baby's lungs. Now, if we didn't have a heart defect also, it would have been passed off as normal and nothing to worry about. But since we do have a heart defect (and this defect is pretty much a clear sign of Down's Syndrome), it causes concern. Kids with Down's have this fluid around their lungs and it can cause various issues. This is the point in which I started to lose all my nerve and the tears started flowing. And this is also where I learned that this dr wasn't the typical run of the mill dr who comes in, tells you what's wrong and runs back out the door. He stopped, tried to console me by rubbing my arm, and asking if I was ok to continue. Of course I said yes because I wanted to get all the bad news as fast as I could so I could start to process it.
I have done a little research so far and have come up with some AWESOME sites that explain the problem so much better than I ever could. The condition that the baby has is called A V Canal Defect (or endocardial cushion defect). Some good sites to read up more are: http://www.uofmchildrenshospital.org/healthlibrary/Article/89102 and http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0004577/
I am open for questions if anyone has any and I'll do my best to answer what I can. In the mean time, all we ask for right now is TONS of prayer for a miracle. We know that this part of baby's heart won't grow and needs surgery, but prayer and faith never hurt. We ask that you keep us in your thoughts as we go down this journey and test our own personal strengths. I know my blogging posts get long. So if you don't like it, there is a little X in that upper right hand corner. I urge you to click it. Other wise, Thanks for hanging in there and reading this crazy mom's worries!

I suck at this the second time around!

Ok, so a LOT has happened since that last post. The Wednesday before Anthony's first birthday (Nov 17) we found out we were expecting another little love! SURPRISE! We were actually waiting for that cycle to end before we were going to start trying again, but obviously someone had other plans!
We had a house guest (Anthony's GodFather) over when I took the test so he was one of the first to find out. He was surprised and happy for us. Him and his wife had tried, but had no luck and had put it on hold for a little bit because of changes in life course.
Well, I had NO way of telling how far along I was this time around, but I figured I was about 4-6 weeks along. Of course, telling Mom was pretty easy this time. She had to know something was up because SHE called ME just after we got the BFP!
*Cough Cough*
Mom: Are you ok? sounds like you are sick again!
Me: Well, kinda yea
Mom: What does that mean? Wait a minute...are you pregnant again??
Me: Umm, yea. SURPRISE! We literally JUST found out!
Mom laughing: Well Congrats! I thought you weren't trying yet! Was this a surprise?
Me: Oh yea, we were waiting for my period before we were going to start trying again. I guess other plans were made!
So, that made it pretty easy to tell her plus I was about to burst at the seams I had to tell someone!
We had our first appointment the first week of December and found out we weren't as far along as we thought. We thought we could be about 8-9 weeks at that point and had told everyone in the family at Anthony's big party on Nov 28th. Come to find out, we were 6w6d. We had found out pretty much at 4 1/2 weeks. Got a faint heartbeat (heart starts beating around 6 weeks so it has little practice at that point) and a due date. July 22nd. Day after our anniversary! So, we could be in the hospital for our anniversary this time around! That's ok, though. We are SO excited!
We've since had 2 more appointments (Jan 12th and yesterday, Feb 9th) and heard a nice healthy heartbeat. A little bugger at staying in one place, much like big brother, but that's ok. It means that all is going well in my book.
One little snag in the mean time, we had an AFP blood screening done (couldn't remember if we did it for Anthony and figured why not?) and it came back positive. Next step is a level 2 ultra sound (more details, high tech, and PHENOM photos) and we have the option of genetic testing and doing an Amnio. We've decided that the u/s is the farthest we'll go. Anything else is too much. We love this baby, no matter if it came out with 3 heads and 10 legs (OUCHIE!). Plus ANY risk of losing the baby is too high of a risk. For more info on AFP screening here's a link that I found helpful: http://pregnancy.about.com/cs/afp/a/afptesting.htm. Read my main blog for more of my thoughts on this subject.
Beyond that, we've decided we don't want to know if we are having a boy or girl this time around. How many surprises like hearing "Its a boy/girl" do you really get in life? Plus, we have so much stuff that can go either way and girls wear blue too. There are quite a few people who aren't on board with us, but that's ok. We know what we want to do and we can always change our minds at the last minute!
I started out a little heavier than last time (ok a lot heavier) and have lost about 3-5 lbs before gaining back at least 3. I believe I may have already gained about 6 total, but I have been horrible at keeping track! The belly is already there and its getting hard to bend over and do all those lovely things. I've also felt movement since about 6 or 7 weeks. Strange as it is, I know what I felt and I know it wasn't just gas. Movement is a little less right now, but that's ok. I still hadn't felt Anthony at all at this point!
I quit nursing Anthony on January 2, 2011. 13 1/2 months of nursing my baby boy. Quite the feat in my book! I'm proud! Would have liked to go longer, but for the sake of Anthony gaining weight and me being as healthy and focused on the new baby, I stopped. I'll never regret that choice that I made. He still looks at my bra and acts like he still nurses from time to time, but that's ok. Just lets me know he appreciates what I did for him. Hopefully I can do the same this time around with the new baby!
I've been lazy about taking photos too, but I have a photo from Christmas with my belly! I've compared the size to last time and I look like I'm about 6-8 weeks farther along than I am (compared to my belly with Anthony). But, with each child, you get bigger faster. Yay.
I'm still working at Adam's store and plan on working until I either can't or I go into labor. Then the plan is me either doing some sort of work from home (VERY part time again) or just being a stay at home mom. If we get a house (which we plan to in the next 12 months!), I want to see if I could possibly babysit another family's kids for a little extra money. We are getting assistance this time around from the state (WIC and insurance since Adam's employers won't pay for it and won't up his insurance checks) so its a little easier now. Anyone want some extra crunchy peanut butter? I've got enough for the end of the Earth!
In the mean time, I'm trying to keep up with the new baby's pregnancy journal (same kind of journal as I kept for Anthony, one for each kid!) and keep up with Anthony and all his hi-jinx.
Anthony started showing signs of wanting to walk more a few days before his birthday and ended up taking the most steps right around the same time as his big party on the 28th. Ever since, he's been a walkin fool with all the miles he puts on in a day. He goes up and down the hall, runs around the living room, gets into everything, and loves being chased. This kid just can't get enough!
He also got 2 more teeth about mid January, so now he has all 8 front teeth. 4 on top and 4 on bottom. He's also gotten into flashing those pearly whites whenever he can. He seems to think its his get out of jail free card.
As for words, he seems to be saying a lot, but we have trouble figuring out what most of them are. He says Cah! (car? cat? cup?) Dada (and occasional Papa), Mama, Ah Gah! (all gone!), Tee (we think its kitty since it sometimes comes out tee-cah and the tee sounds like it could be more kee), bah (ball), ah da! (all done!) Neh (sippy/thirsty/hungry, its from his infant talk days), and more I'm sure I'm not thinking of. He mostly babbles, but a lot of it sounds like real words. No idea if he's just mimicking or he's actually trying to talk to us like we do to him. He does talk A LOT though. He loves talking on the phone but usually ends up either hanging up or muting the person. He's also made calls to random people on my phone and sent a few text messages. He's also figured out how to take photos with borders on my phone amongst other things. The kid is SUPER smart. And LOVES the remote. He's just as bad as Adam at walking off with the remote into another room and then coming back empty handed. More than once we've had to tear the house apart looking for it.
He's SO loving. You ask for a kiss and make a kissy face, he'll probably kiss you. It will also probably be either open mouth or slobbery or both. But he finds it fun. He's also really big with being thrown on the bed. We have an air mattress bed so it cushions him and lets him bounce a little without worry of hurting him. He squeals with such delight when we do this every night. He also likes to pick out the books we read every night. He'll turn the pages and "talks" to us to tell us what he thinks of what's going on. With GoodNight Moon, he'll wave goodnight to the pages that read "Goodnight stars, good night air". Its SO cute! He even knows that if you forget to count the number of monkeys (or lady bugs) in his counting books, he will NOT let you close that book. You have to take his hand and help him point to each one, counting out loud. He's pretty good at putting his own hand on the right spot. I tell ya, he's ALWAYS learning something new and amazing us!
I haven't weighed him lately but I'm not sure how long I'm really going to do that. He finally broke 20 lbs on his birthday. Dr was a little concerned since he was slowly falling off the chart, but with him breaking the 20# mark, he bounced back on to the scale and we don't have to be as concerned. Not that I really was. He eats at least 3 good meals a day, hates refined sugar, hasn't ever tried fatty foods, and LOVES his fruits and veggies, pasta and sauce. He's even got a little bit of a belly! He's still in size 3 diapers, but that's ok. More diapers per box and we aren't in any hurry to move him along. He'll grow at his own rate.
He isn't too crazy about strangers and certainly won't go to them, but if he knows you or we spend enough time around you, he'll warm up and might even let you hold him and give you a kiss! We are still working on Bye Bye (he waves his fingers in his own face over his lips instead of waving them toward the person leaving), but he'll typically do a kiss goodbye. Recently, we left him at Adam's aunt Christene and uncle Chad. What a little trooper! He behaved so well! He even fell asleep for them while playing patty cake (which makes him giggle like NO tomorrow!).
He's very well sleep trained and typically gets himself back to sleep in the 5 minutes we give him. He had a rough patch last weekend, but the neighbors upstairs were having a blow out party weekend which kept him up and messed him up, but he's back where he should be. I still rock and sing him to sleep, but I think I'll do that for a LONG time. He likes it and it gets him to sleep FAST usually. Plus its a good time to bond! When I put him in his crib, he'll flip over onto his belly, reach for his sippy (full of plain water, TYVM) and snuggle in for the night. He goes to bed around 10-10:30 and wakes up between 8:15 and 9 which is just in time for his breakfast. He loves the oatmeal his Papa makes more than mine, but he likes a lot of the dinners I make for him. He's still pretty good at his naps, but has days when he wants to be awake more and days where he's more apt to sleep longer. I'll never complain, it gives me more down time to either catch a nap myself or get something done around the house.
All in all, my boys drive me nuts and I often wonder what I've gotten myself into with another on the way. But then I'll have my boys snuggle on my lap, get a kiss from each one and remember that I love the whole crazy train I'm on.
I'm going to try and get better at blogging (sorry, new baby. Momma is a bit of a slacker at times!) but please be patient if its a bit between each post. Life isn't always the easiest for me to set time aside for things like this!